DOS 10 Commandments
Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2013 4:53 pmDOS 10 Commandments
The DOS 10 Commandments
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* I am thy DOS, thou shall have no OS before me, unless Bill Gates gets a cut
of the profits therefrom.
* Thy DOS is a character based, single user, single tasking, standalone
operating system. Thou shall not attempt to make DOS network, multitask,
or display a graphical user interface, for that would be a gross hack .
* Thy hard disk shall never have more than 1024 sectors. You don't need that
much space anyway.
* Thy application program and data shall all fit in 640K of RAM. After all,
it's ten times what you had on a CP/M machine. Keep holy this 640K of
RAM, and clutter it not with device drivers, memory managers, or other
things that might make thy computer useful.
* Thou shall use the one true slash character to separate thy directory path.
Thou shall learn and love this character, even though it appears on no
typewriter keyboard, and is unfamiliar. Standardization on where that
character is located on a computer keyboard is right out .
* Thou shall edit and shuffle the sacred lines of CONFIG.SYS and AUTOEXEC.BAT
until DOS functions adequately for the likes of you. Giving up in disgust
is not allowed.
* Know in thy heart that DOS shall always maintain backward compatibility to
the holy 2.0 version, blindly ignoring opportunities to become compatible
with things created in the latter half of this century. But you can still
run WordStar 1.0
* Improve thy memory, for thou shall be required to remember that
JD031792.LTR is the letter that you wrote to Jane Doe three years ago
regarding the tax deductible contribution that you made to her
organization. The IRS Auditor shall be impressed by thy memory as he
stands over you demanding proof .
* Pick carefully the names of thy directories, for renaming them shall be
mighty difficult. While you're at it, don't try to relocate branches of
the directory tree, either.
* Learn well the Vulcan Nerve Pinch (ctrl-alt-del) for it shall be thy
saviour on many an occasion. Believe in thy heart that everyone reboots
their OS to solve problems that shouldn't occur in the first place.
The DOS 10 Commandments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* I am thy DOS, thou shall have no OS before me, unless Bill Gates gets a cut
of the profits therefrom.
* Thy DOS is a character based, single user, single tasking, standalone
operating system. Thou shall not attempt to make DOS network, multitask,
or display a graphical user interface, for that would be a gross hack .
* Thy hard disk shall never have more than 1024 sectors. You don't need that
much space anyway.
* Thy application program and data shall all fit in 640K of RAM. After all,
it's ten times what you had on a CP/M machine. Keep holy this 640K of
RAM, and clutter it not with device drivers, memory managers, or other
things that might make thy computer useful.
* Thou shall use the one true slash character to separate thy directory path.
Thou shall learn and love this character, even though it appears on no
typewriter keyboard, and is unfamiliar. Standardization on where that
character is located on a computer keyboard is right out .
* Thou shall edit and shuffle the sacred lines of CONFIG.SYS and AUTOEXEC.BAT
until DOS functions adequately for the likes of you. Giving up in disgust
is not allowed.
* Know in thy heart that DOS shall always maintain backward compatibility to
the holy 2.0 version, blindly ignoring opportunities to become compatible
with things created in the latter half of this century. But you can still
run WordStar 1.0
* Improve thy memory, for thou shall be required to remember that
JD031792.LTR is the letter that you wrote to Jane Doe three years ago
regarding the tax deductible contribution that you made to her
organization. The IRS Auditor shall be impressed by thy memory as he
stands over you demanding proof .
* Pick carefully the names of thy directories, for renaming them shall be
mighty difficult. While you're at it, don't try to relocate branches of
the directory tree, either.
* Learn well the Vulcan Nerve Pinch (ctrl-alt-del) for it shall be thy
saviour on many an occasion. Believe in thy heart that everyone reboots
their OS to solve problems that shouldn't occur in the first place.
